For Linnea's last day in the US, we took her to the Kelly Clarkson concert at Shoreline (Leif was thrilled). To keep my sanity, I used my cell phone to write some notes during the show.
7:20pm Finally after standing in lines for 45 minutes we have a Kelly Clarkson hat, little stuffed dog animal with a Kelly Clarkson (says "I love Kelly Clarkson". It *should* say "I (heart) Kelly Clarkson" though) shirt on, and food. By "we" I mean "Linnea", although I have food as well. I opted against buying the $30 Kelly Clarkson hat. The concession people take the caps off the little bitty bottled water. I wonder why since you can bring in bottled water with the caps on. Their little bitty bottled water is $2.50 a bottle. I make mine last for about 15 minutes taking tiny sips.
7:55pm Rooney comes on..finally. They're not good enough to be 25 minutes fashionably late, but they don’t suck either. I give them another 2 years max before they fade into obscurity. The girls behind us scream like they’re the second coming. I don't think I was able to ever get my voice that high pitched, even at 15.
8pm Leif picks up his magazine (Astronomy) to read.
8:05pm 3 girls walk by, and by "girl" I mean in their 20's. One is wearing ugly ass gold tights. She's missing the matching gold hooker short jacket though, so her outfit isn't complete.
8:07 Rooney proclaims it's great to be in San Francisco. Several people yell that it's Mountain View. They don't seem to follow the Simpsons rule of writing the city name on the back of the guitar.
8:15 2 girls in the front row get called on stage to play the tamborine. I think they’re going to have a heart attack when they take pictures of themselves with the "omghe'ssohot" lead singer (say that in your best 15 year old voice).
8:20 Ok I give them a year. All their songs are bland and sound the same.
8:25 Fat women should not wear really tight halter tops, I’m sorry. Someone has to say it.
8:28 Leif starts getting into the concert
8:40 Rooney leaves. Finally. The wait for the main event begins.
8:45 They show some Kelly Clarkson Vitamin Water ad and people freak out and think she's coming out. I laugh and roll my eyes, being a concert vet. The people in line in front of me in the bathroom start complaining they're missing the show. I silently hope they'll jump out of line so I'll get to the front faster, but no such luck. Maybe she'll be out by 9:30.
9:15 Looks like she's coming out, but nope. "You Shook Me All Night Long" is played and everyone knows the words. I think Kelly covers it which is probably why, but this is the original, so that's much much better.
9:20 Finally. I was 10 minutes off from my 9:30 estimate. The blonde in front of me starts jumping up and down. If it were a boy band I’d notice she probably isn’t wearing a bra, but it's not so I don’t pay attention.
9:23 A song I know - Behind These Hazel Eyes. I sing along with the 2 8 year olds behind us. Leif just gives me a look.
9:25 The adults in the audience have given up and are sitting down.
9:27 Kelly is wearing this weird black wristband. She could have carpal tunnel...but from what?
9:28 Crappy slow song. If this were a rock power ballad it might not suck so bad...but it's not, so it does.
9:30 She talks to the audience and sounds real. I’m not horribly surprised given she started on American Idol. She wishes a kid in the audience a happy birthday.
9:32 Leif gets bored
9:36 Some drunk guys come and stand next to us and get all obnoxious. I’m debating what to do and then they leave, but not before diving for the flying beach ball, almost landing on the girl sitting in front of us.
9:45 Ugh 3 slow songs in a row. Hurl.
9:48 2nd cover in like 30 minutes, and they’re not even that good. Wtf I came to hear her songs. We know she can sing covers..hello?? American Idol??
9:52 Damn, I think Rooney was actually better.
9:54 I lied. She went back to her fast songs so she's kicking it! That's me trying to be 15 again. Doesn't seem to be working too well.
9:57 She pimps Ford. I guess they’re sponsoring the concert. She sings the song they 'did' together (translation the one they wrote for her while she was under American Contract). Sucks. A lame video plays in the background.
I asked Leif earlier if he'd rather go to Kelly Clarkson or the Wiggles and he picked the Wiggles.
10:02 Another slow song. I feel like I know it, but it may be just because some of her slow songs sound the same.
10:05 I just noticed the guys behind us are dancing to her songs. Judging by how they look and the age of their kids, they're probably my age or older. I suspect they're the same ones I saw wearing homemade Kelly Clarkson shirts before the concert, but in the dark I can't verify that.
10:07 One of the backup singers looks just like someone taken from a 1980's Jane Fonda workout video, clothes and all. I keep expecting her to sing "work it" into the mic.
10:10 Why do people think cell phone pictures taken from really far away in the dark are going to have any chance at coming out? "Look, that little tiny blobby out-of-focus dot is Kelly Clarkson! Ohmigod!!"
10:15 Another song off her new album due I guess in February. Leif suspects it'll bomb with her target demographic - the teenybopper. It's a combo blues/soul song, and she likens it to the styles of Chaka Khan and Prince. You can hear the collective "who?" coming from the young ones in the crowd.
10:17 Finally a good song. An acoustic version of "Breakaway." Easily her best one so far.
10:19 "Since U Been Gone" is played. I like that song, but the spelling still bugs the crap out of me. Is it really that difficult to also type the letters "y" and "o"?
10:21 And we're done. Wow that was short. For a 3 hour concert we heard about 90 minutes of music. Thankfully we didn't spring for the $75 seats and got the cheapo lawn seats instead.